Father,
I want to know only your love and truth.
Help me to remember that you always are flowing through me,
like water in a humble stream.

When I struggle with my own painful thoughts, remind me gentle that my only function is to become the bed for that humble stream, a channel for your thought.

When I believe that I must carry the world on my shoulders, remind me that the answers to all my questions always can be found with you – inside me.

Let your will replace my personal desires.
Let your love fulfill the longing of my heart.
and let your strength be my only source of power.

When I feel lonely or afraid, remind me that I am your outstretched hand – your instrument.
Let all my actions become an expression of your will.

Let me see with your eyes, hear with your ears and speak with your voice.
Amen

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

My Child,
Meet me in the depth of your Self.
Take my hand and let me gently lead you home.
Receive my love and make it yours.
Accept my forgiveness and understand that there has never been anything to forgive.

Rest in my embrace, for there are no more mountains to climb.
Let my love caress you and my arms lift you above the storms of life.

Allow my light to enter and weld us together for eternity.
Amen
December 2008

Unconditional love
Once again I do want to write about love. When I look back at my earlier texts, I see that I repeat myself again and again. My continuous message is how important it is for all of us to allow love in our lives, to heal ourselves and to rest in our own truth.

How much do we seek after a substitute for love outside ourselves? To see and use the beauty we already have inside ourselves is both gift, and a duty to ourselves to seek it out. Everybody has a big goodwill and light inside themselves.

What will happen if we let the most beautiful part of ourselves shine through so it can be seen from the outside? What would happen then in our lives? How would that affect the way we build our communities, our relationships and our own bodies? When we are open and honest, vulnerable and fragile – then we also are most powerful and brave.

Who is the one that makes you feels a bit warmer and happier?
Who is the one that gives you more confidence in your life, in the present moment and next minute?
Who is the one that makes you feel the biggest happiness in your life?
Who is the one that allows you the experience of love?
Who is that one, if that one is not you?

Who is the one that judges your life?
Who is the one that tells you when you are right or wrong in your life?
Who is the one that you want to be good enough in others eyes?
Who is that one, if that one is not you?

Love is that feeling that fills me with benevolence and enlightenment. It helps me to see through my most beautiful eyes, beyond my own criticizing judge.
Love fills me with the courage to use my inner resources for that which is beneficial for me and the people I encounter.
Love brings beauty in accord with human goodwill – for me and for everything around me.
Love releases me from the illusion that happiness can be bought or that it can be caught by my actions.
Love will always be there for me whenever I desire it – because all I have to do is to allow me to give it to myself, and dare to show my love to those who are beside me.

I love you because I permit myself to unmask my inner face and because you never judge me.
I love you because you are always there for me when I need you, because you always see me when I need to be seen.
These words can be addressed to a partner, a child, to God, but most of all, we need to voice them to ourselves. We can only give away what we own.

What kind of love are we giving away to people if we do not love ourselves first?

January 2006

Mummy…
You are my support and source of energy.
You are the one that stands on my side when I meet denial and lack of sympathy.
You are the one that is always there when I feel like the most alone one in the world.
You are the one that comforts me when I feel afraid and lost.

You will always remind me of how important it is to listen to my heart, because you are always listening to yours.
You will always remind me of the power of freedom, because you ARE freedom in everything you do.
I try to think like that when you are not here with me and when I miss you most.

You never let me forget how much you love me – that knowledge helps me row trough turbulent waters without drowning.

In my heart, you will always be near.

My Angel…
You are my oasis, my sister and my daughter.
You are the one that laughs in understanding when the world around me doesn’t understand me.
You are the one that opens your wings and make room for me when I come home now and then.
You are the one that always looks at me with the deepest love and openness.
You will always remind me of how important it is to be soft and sensitive, because you are like that in everything.
You will always remind me of the power of vulnerability, because you ARE that in everything you live.

You are my master trough your fragile and graceful being – that makes you infinitely beautiful.

In my heart, you will always be near.

March 2006

My heart fills up with gratitude. Gratitude the opportunity to live, for the wonderful everyday life that I have, and for the fantastic people I am honoured to meet every day. When the silence is coming over me at an evening like this, my heart almost bursts with the love I feel for these people I meet, for my family and for my life.

It’s not every evening that I dare to meet the silence, but now it’s here. A bit frightening because of all that is hidden in it – in me. Everything that is hidden in the daily noise is suddenly here – naked.

Now that I finally am here, I don’t want to leave this miraculous space again. I think of all these years when I fled from the silence, into fear to see and feel. Of the enormous amount energy I wasted on my painful struggle to avoid meeting my self – my soul.

I believe that sooner or later we all come to this point, because none of us have the power to fight against God’s universal laws.

I light the candles in the rooms again and turn on the music and go into the Silence.
It’s evening and I’m alone with myself in the very deepest sense.

September 2006

Vulnerability
Soon 44... It has been a wonderful journey and I'm very grateful for the life I got. Many years have passed and a lot has happened (of course).

Since that afternoon, 28 years ago when God knocked on my head and asked me to choose the way of my life, I have had only one goal – to become one with my truest me, my soul.
And I have certainly been there – at Home. I know each corner. I know the light, the warmth and the enormous Love that is greater than my words can express.

But life brings me back to square one regularly, as it wants to test how strong I am in my truest truth. And bang! Decade-old fears show up and I find myself small as a little child – again. The safe and wise Madeleine has completely vanished, and without her is it like sitting in a rowing-boat without oars on a stormy sea.

Beside me my soul stands and observes the drama, nodding with a smile on her lips, as if she wants to say: Beloved friend, everything will be all right. We both know that this is not real. Do what you need to free yourself from your illusions. I'll wait for you here until you choose to come back to me, and I will embrace you with loving open arms.

What else can I do than surrender?

How wonderful isn't it to know that we are all of the same essence that we function in the same way in the same circumstances.

We all know about True Love and the Stormy Sea. We all have the same longing and strife.

That's why I want to share my vulnerability with you.

October 2006

Where are we heading?

Companies are sucking the life juice out off their staff. Money, performance and competition are highly prioritised. Stress is making its mark on people today more than ever. Time to rest is scarcer; today it is unusual for a mother to stay a home and take care of her young children. Instead she picks them up from the day care centre, tired after a long day at work, aware that still many hours of work wait at home before she gets to rest. Shopping, cooking, taking care of children, doing the dishes and planning next day. Maybe some time to spend with a possible partner.

People are whacked. On a daily basis I meet people who are so exhausted from overworking that they hardly can make it out of bed in the morning, for months or years.

At the same time the world’s best public medical service (the Swedish) is breaking down. Doctors have less than 10 minutes to spend with each patient. How will they ever be able to meet a patient and his problem in that amount of time?

Medicines in FASS (registered medicines for doctors in Sweden) are 96% symptom oriented, synthetically produced and unkind to humans. Is the body lacking Paracetamol when we have a headache? Or Zoloft when we are sad and feel unhappy? Those are the tools that the doctors have to help us with. Is this why they have chosen their profession? These experts of health have the shortest average lifespan of all professional groups in Sweden…

Medicines that are considered too dangerous for use in the west are shipped to developing countries and launched there as salutary medicine. The healthcare system becomes an ever greater burden on the taxpayer and to save the situation, more responsibility for our health is shoved to employers.

Our health care practitioners receive orders to save money by keeping the number of workers on sick leave down, but no one knows what to do with all those sick and exhausted people.

The us of alternative medicine is by law forbidden for licensed staff like doctors and nurses. They are not allowed to even recommend it to their patients. Doctor’s appointments and medicines are tax-free and subsidized with tax money. Alternative medicine is taxed with 25% VAT. In several occasions attempts have been made to ban practitioners of alternative medicine altogether.

Few reflect on what is going on behind the scenes. Who is questioning the foundation of recommendations by the World Health Organisation? Who speculates on to what expend representatives in the WHO are persuaded to make certain statements? Who is thinking of what is laying behind the decisions that are influencing whole populations in the countries of the EU? Decisions and statements are expected to be well considered and discussed. But in a worst case scenario decision makers in Brussels have 15 minutes to take a stand on issues they have never heard of before. Issues concerning the lives of millions of citizens within the union.

We are poisoning our environment by spraying chemicals on the food we are going to eat, put poisons like chlorine and aluminium in our drinking water, release hormones and pollutions in sewers and then later use the sludge on fields and dry land. Plants and animals are stressed, manipulated and refined to produce more. Some plants and animals are allowed to exist while others are discarded. Monocultures are now prevailing in the fields, although nature is supposed to be richly varied.

Animals grown to supply us with food are constantly being given antibiotics and hormone treatments to be able to produce even more. That is, to maximize farmer’s profits.

Who knows what will happen when humans are playing God with nature? Who is thinking of the energy this food is bringing to those that eat it? Is it life-giving and nourishing?

Products produced by our agricultural industry are treated in a pitiful way. They are transported, stored, heated, deep-frozen, gassed, peeled, refined, cooked, radiated, high pressured, conserved, beamed, chemically coloured and flavoured, to please our eyes and noses and palates.

Enormous food stores are created for all the new products. Basic food like fruit and vegetables, meat, fish, egg, poultry, game, nuts and seeds do not make enough profits without having first been treated by the industry. Basic products have a low profitability rate, and refined products have to be advertised to awake the population’s desire for them.

Statements like ‘milk makes your legs stronger’ or ‘chocolate biscuits are good food for sports’, remain unchallenged and unpunished even though they are pure lies. At the same time, it is forbidden by law to inform the public of important qualities of healthy food, without at first being classified and approved as natural medicine (involving enormous costs and restrictions on what is allowed to be mentioned). And then VAT on approved functional food is twice as high as ordinary food.

Popular press indulges in people’s illnesses, scandals and love stories. The printed word has an almost magic force, especially if it is mass-produced and shown in yellow and black (even the wasp knows, this combination of colours instils fear!) Why then can’t we read equally large headlines about the hole in the ozone layer, or that the last father is born on earth thanks to all the plastic, chemicals and oestrogen in nature? That our food nowadays contains less then half of the nutrition we need to maintain our health? That people are feeling bad because they are not valued for what they are instead of what they produce? Those superficial things are considered more important than human things? That we all are longing for love, peace and serenity?

But above all… why does nobody react to all this, even though it is in front of our eyes every day? Are we so battered into insensitivity that we cannot longer see clearly?

How can it be that the media have such a huge influence on our thoughts? Is it because we do not trust ourselves and our own feelings about what is important?

Commercials, television, radio, and press and feeding us with projected messages. When a statement has been heard enough it tends to become the truth. Deeply rooted ‘truths’ are not easily being questioned. To go against the flow can bring disadvantages. You can lose your employment, be reported to the police, become an outcast, be verbally backstabbed or considered mentally ill.

But what is there to choose from? The whole society is shaking. What I have written about are just a few examples of what is going on around us. But we are the society. We are, you and me. You and I both have the same obligation to do the best in this situation.

Your choices, your decisions, your actively taking a stand, taking responsibility. Your respect and your loving relationship to nature, animals, people and, above all, yourself: that is enough for a miracle to happen. After all, if we all are going against the stream, where do you think the stream will go?

August 2003